September 6th, 2005 1:19am
Just felt the desire to pop on here and sort of reflect on the past few months and what has been going on.
As of late, things haven't really all changed that much for yours truely. I am still working at the rehab as that position holds it's own drama for which I will go into greater detail at another time. I'm starting to look for other employment as my current occupation holds no security for me what so ever, not to mention me being totally unappreciated with all my efforts.
Since February 9th 2005, I've gotten my license restored and a car back on the road. You could not imagine how nice it feels to regain some more of the freedoms that I was deprived of because of my past actions. Today I try my best to stay on the straight and narrow path to make sure that past events will not reoccur in the future. Any goal is attainable, granted, on the levels of desire and faith that one holds.
The house that I was managing in the past has since been sold. The new owners are compassionate down to earth people and are taking steps to turn the place into a home for all of us here. It's really amazing how a place can start to turn around for the better when some monies are spent to do some repairs and make things as they should have been for quite some time. I'm no longer running the house, just basically collecting rents for the landlord, as he cuts me a few bucks off the rent. Not a bad gig at all, although I would rather be back out there on my own, but that's not an option at the moment due to the financials. That will come in time as things level out a bit.
I've basically been; working, spending time at home, out at my local Starbucks or out with my buddy Jeff causing havok throughout Northern New Jersey. It's really funny that as one goes through things in life, they realize who their real friends are and what role they play in ones life. I just want to take this time to thank my friend Jeff for being just that, a true friend, actually the only real one I have in my life. He does not judge me based on my appearance, my musicical tastes, my lifestyle, my thoughts or actions. He has been there to pull me out of a few jams and is always there should I need something. The complete opposite, would be for example, certain family members, those who I've gone to school with, old band mates, those from my hometown and even those I've worked side by side with during my 11 years with the fire department. When I was going through my treatment at the rehab, even the period that followed, not a peep from anyone. I'm not being resentful or bitter, just pointing out that I would have thought that at least someone would have tried to contact me to see how I was doing and all. Like they say, Live and Learn, that statement holds so true for me these days and I try to use that knowledge to make my life a better one.
Seems that the only real problem area of my current life it the relationship realm. As I do seem to read into this one a bit more than I should, I cant but help wonder when I'm going to meet that one special person I can share the rest of my life with. Everyone tells me that it will happen, I know that eventually it will happen, it's just that addict in me wanting it to happen sooner. That's why I find it so important to keep myself busy and keep moving forward, I've since stopped stressing on the thought of putting so much of my energy into looking for someone and am just letting the cards fall as they do, one day at a time, knowing it'll happen when I least expect it.
With all this being said, time for some rest and back to the grind tomorrow. Thanks again to those who have stopped on by and taken the time to read and reply, I do appreciate it.
