This Internal Darkness

For some time now I've had this hole inside of me, just a great big void, a vast emptiness. It likes to appear and make itself known to me when I get certain thoughts in my head which in turn causes pain throughout this vast emptiness and my brain. One would think that after all this time I would have found at least someone to spend the rest of my life with, I tend to think that I'm damned from the start for past ills I've done or caused others in the past. Whatever the case may be, there are only a select type that I seek which narrows down that mathematical equation even more making my chances not so great. Either the compatible ones I do manage to find and get along with are either taken or married or live in Pango Pango. What is one to do? I suppose just what I've been doing the past few years, nothing. Just passing the time, doing my radio gigs and live events and pray for the best with the hopes that someday my luck will change for the better, one never knows. It seems that I've gotten used to the pain, accepted it and at times embrace it because it, is all that I have it seems. I was mentioning to a friend online that pain is the card that I have been dealt and is my own cross to bare, so I will continue to move forward, carrying my burden and hoping for the best at least. Just my three cents. I hope that all of you out there are doing well.

#DJDarkGift